I sometimes feel like I'm fighting a never ending battle to get my diabetes somewhere near normal. I have ok days and  I have rather bad days. I can't get out and do anything that comes close exercise because of the arthritis and when I do try to do something like mow the lawn or tinker on my vehicle it takes me forever to mow the grass and I can't complete any thing I do without taking a number of breaks. It really is depressing and the I just don' feel like doing anything and I shouldn't be that way but that's the way I feel. I'm pretty sure that's what's keeping me from getting any kind of control over my disease and that sucks.

Well it happened, shortly after my last post it was decided that my friend needed more care than I could provide so she went back to the nursing home. She seems to be slipping away, I suppose it's the two stroke's she has had but it's weird that her symptoms mimics dementia or alzheimer's. I worry about her and that's never good for my diabetes. My worrying about her ,causes me to neglect  my diet and can even cause me to stress eat and that is never good even if I take my insulin .

My friend has been home for two months now and I find it increasingly more difficult than I thought. I don't know how much longer I can take care of her, she seems to be regressing instead of progressing. She seems to sundown when it gets long toward evening and sometimes ,take this evening for example, she calls for someone and when we get back to her room she doesn't want anything or she will ask the same questions . again and again. I can deal with feeding, changing, getting her from one room to the next. I can not deal with the confusion and the constant wanting someone to come to her room and then wanting nothing. I am about at end the of the line with her, but I don't want to send back to the nursing home. I'm torn between the loyalty I feel for her and the my health which is slowing declining. I don't know what to do.

well my friend finally got home and we are all relieved. She has  that come in and help with speech and mobility but we are her primary care givers. I don't regret her coming home but it is really an adventure taking care of a stroke victim. We do what we have to because that's just what my family does, we soldier on.

Had a busy day yesterday, getting the house ready for my friend (who had a stroke) to come home. The nursing home is doing a home assessment today. I spent practically all day yesterday moving things around and I can hardly move today, but I'm not done I still got a ton of stuff to do to get the ready for her a her special needs. I suppose as long as I keep at I'll get it finished eventually.

Haven't written for awhile. so here it goes. I seem to be in a never ending circle. everyday is the same. I don't go to sleep until almost daylight, then I sit and watch tv. until whenever I fall asleep. I do occasionally get up in the morning and on them days I get some things done. Even on those days I have to be careful not to over due it other wise my hands and feet hurt and I can't sleep. On the plus side, my that the stroke is doing fine, she might be home by christmas.

I'm having a hard time of it this week. My diabetes is all out of wack, my feet are driving me crazy, and my sciatica is also driving me crazy. I feel like I'm just fallen apart, every time I try to do something good for me I end up like this. I just keep plugging along.